Blag

I can’t say I’m a fan of all the Hitler hates X rip-offs that have flooded the interwebs (notably Youtube), but I’ll give this one by mambo9jambo a plug. It shares a common ideology that unites all (sane) HSC English students, that creative writing (and HSC English for that matter) sucks. You could say, we all… belong?

*ducks fusillade of flak*

It’s good, as far as Downfall (movie) spoofs go – there are a lot of much lamer parodies out there e.g. “Hitler wants ADSL2+ in Tasmania”.

I came across (or to be precise, was given) this condensed kid’s version of Shakespeare’s play Hamlet.

Despite being 2 pages long, it summarises 100 A4 pages of waffle very succinctly. It has to be said, the style the play is written in… reminds me of someone…

Click to download the full PDF! (90kb)

Happy reading!

I might transcribe it into a blag post or a text document when I have time, but for now, a PDF is your present.

Note: I have no idea if this work is copyrighted or not, the author or any details whatsoever -  the copy I received was a photocopy of a photocopy from a very old book. So if I am infringing on someone’s intellectual property, sorry.

Nathan Rees (Premier of NSW) has finally given in and reinstated the student free travel scheme. About bloody time too! The government can afford $1000+ payouts to people for financial help during the economic crisis, yet it couldn’t afford the $90 per student to subsidise a years worth of travel without some persuasion from the public.

Before I even talk about the book – three problems

1. Its printed on the cheapest crappest paper ever made
2. It makes a retarded creaking a sound every time you turn a page
3. Aside – how the hell did it win a literary award???
4. The book plain sucks. (below)

To some up the book – european man (the book was so boring I don’t remember specifics) gets owned by parents, runs away, bangs the crap out of a german chick, they get married, she has poor health and they move to Australia (in the 1950s-60s). Theye eke out an existence, Romulus gets owned by every woman he meets, and then gets a mental illness, and gets owned in a heart or brain operation or something. All of this is written by Raimond (his son) as a memoir, after a moving eulogy given at his father’s funeral.

All fine and good you might think. But there’s 4 problems:

1. It is written in the opposite style of hyperbole. It is shit boring.
2. Raimond Gaita is a philosopher at ACU, thus, the book is more waffly and verbose than a speech by the pope on Christmas day.
3. The memoir is written in the eyes of a kid, growing up. Waaaay too matter of fact and objective.
4. After reading it, I feel like I have wasted 2.5 hours of my life. Like c’mon how did this win the 1998 Victoria Premier’s Literary Awards???

Oh and the stupid book is a core text for the HSC. That should some it all up.

PS: Forgot to mention that half the main characters commit suicide. This would’ve been noteworthy, but the mind numbingly dense portrayal of their death by Raimond makes it same old, same old.

Romulus My Father – Raimond Gaita