Blag

Somehow or other, this blog (blag) has somehow made it into the indexes of over 15 search engines including Google, Yahoo, Live/Bing, Ask, Alexa & Netcraft. Amazing, considering there weren’t any inbound links to theparanoidtroll.com in the beginning yet somehow Google caught on within days of the domain being registered, and all the other followed suit.

Stats make for interesting reading -

• Average of 6-7 unique visitors per day (excludes RSS feeds, and returning visitors)
• 72.8% of visitors use Internet Explorer, 15.2% use Safari, 8% use Firefox, 0.9% use Chrome and the remainder are all random browsers/feed readers
• 95.9% of visitors are Windows users, Macintosh accoutns for 1.2% and <0.1% use Linux. I have no idea what the remainder is.
• Top 5 keywords were  – “cheap”, “discount”, “billion”, “KFC” and ”pointless”
• Top 10 countries are – Australia, US, Canada, Saudi Arabia, Japan, Spain, Brazil, Russia and Germany

I actually received 3 offers via e-mail from various dodgy SEO companies offering to ‘promote’ my site to make it to the front page of Google. It already does, thank you very much -.- No thanks to you, J. Walker, H. Ellis, and K. Lampton. All you succeeded in doing is wasting 15 kilobytes of space in my inbox.

In other news, more server changes to come

I’ll wait until I’ve moved all my websites and domains away from host “X”, before I tear into them, lambast their shitty service and name them publicly. The server load of 70.34 and memory usage of 88.20% is atrocious, let alone the support staff who ignore support tickets, or take 4-5 days before replying to those marked as ‘crtical’, or the high packet loss and latency. And that’s before I start complaining about corrupted SSL data, terrible PHP/SQL performance and the intermittent FTP service. -.- *rage*

For those not in the know, a typical server packed with hundreds of websites only has a load of 1 to 4, and memory usage around the 40-60% usage mark under normal conditions.

So, time to shift all my domain names to Layered Networks, and move my other sites to IGXHosting. (Free plug for Layered Networks here actually, they have very cheap domain names which come with free WHOIS privacy, which still beat Australian registrars for price, despite the AUD to USD exchange rate and conversion). This blog shouldn’t be affected as it’s already hosted by Layered Networks and the domain is already pointed towards their nameservers. Still, if something does bugger up, max downtime should be 24-48 hours, while your ISP re-caches DNS lookups.

Bruno. (The 2009 film). Went and saw that today, and it got me thinking.

Not going to go into a full blown review or rant – there’s enough reviews in the paper, coverage on TV, advertising and internet blogs about it without me adding to the chorus of “me-too’s”, but it did get me thinking.

LGBT right’s campaigners.

What a bunch of hypocrites. Take this case in point:

“Sacha Baron Cohen’s well-meaning attempt at satire is problematic in many places and outright offensive in others,” Rashad Robinson, senior director of media programs for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation told the New York Times. “Some gay advocates are worried that Cohen could reinforce negative stereotypes about homosexuals.”

Or even Troy Thompson and Gary Burns, self appointed “guardians of the homosexual flame” in Sydney.

Every year, the LGBT community gets together and holds a massive parade/celebration, whatever you want to call it; a.k.a the Mardi Gras. It seems to come across as some kind of symbol of unison, a way for gay and lesbians to be proud of their orientation, to be out there, and often offensively so. It’s the largest display of outlandish behaviour  in the world (even bigger than the Folsom street fairs, I think). The NSW government and City of Sydney council pour millions into it, all the locals hotels and bars support it and it gets a buttload of media coverage, pardon the pun. All of the LGBT right’s activists support it, and proudly proclaim the Mardi Gras as one of a kind.

LGBT campaginers hate the stereotyping and misinformation that floats around in society – cigarette rolling butch lesbians, guys with high pitched voices, rainbow socks, crew cuts etc, yet they seem to support the stereotypical yearly bashing of Christians, drag queens, semi-nude exotic dancers strutting around the city and so on.

Double standards much?

How can people take you seriously, when the majority of the exposure to gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders is a parade of drunken, wild, stereotypically clothed morons every year?

LGBT’s have every right to be recognized as an oft discriminated against minority group, and can dress as outlandishly as they wish, but I can’t take the activists seriously.

The majority of the LGBT community lead perfectly normal happy lives, and blend in with the rest of us heterosexuals, but before their so called “right’s activists” speak out, perhaps they should re-examine their own behaviour.

Edit: Updated for clarity. Also, no I don’t think that Bruno is representative of the majority of LGBT’s; it simply served as a springboard for a train of thought.

Bleurgh. As you may or may not know, I hate social networking with a passion.

(I think I posted on this a while ago. Did I? Yes I did. I did so here!)

It eats into people’s lives, cutting them off from reality, breaking up relationships, running up huge phone and Internet bills and so on, not to mention the fact that once it’s posted, it’s out there for the world to see. Now throw in online predators, e-mail harvesting by SPAM bots, the 101 trojans and phishing scams that seem to plague Facebook and MySpace and you might begin to understand why people might be better off without it.

Actually, as a side note, I read in a user survey that there is actually a demographic rift between MySpace and Facebook users. (Damnit, lost that URL ) Apparently, all the educated White people are moving to Facebook, whereas MySpace has now become a trashy ghetto. Where that leaves the Asian, European and Middle Eastern people, I’m not quite sure. Well, I do have SOME idea – Asians have their own non-English forums and Web 2.0 SN websites, Europeans have their own ripoffs of Facebook written in gobbledygook, and the Internet is the tool of the devil used to disseminate vile pornography (according to the crackpot clerics anyway) so that leaves out most of the Middle East. And yes, I hate political correctness. And no, I will not make any attempt to censor myself, not for the sake of sheltered children nor radical far left Christians nutters either.

Side Note #2 – I hate you Fred Nile. You too, Stephen Conroy. May you rot in hell for eternity Fred Phelps.

Back on topic though. The idea of social networking DOES make sense, if you ignore the ego-flapping wars of “who has more friends on Facebook” and “I have more followers than you on Twitter”.

Speaking of Twitter – ce qui donne?

What’s the point of Twitter? According to it’s home page:

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?

Of everyone I’ve asked (about 9), no one seems to comprehend the purpose of its existence. Of all the Twitter accounts I’ve ever looked at, all but 2 were utterly boring.

“OMG woke up and it was raining”

“my dog shit the carpet againz”

“lol, gonan go eat brekky now”

“Awesome, saw a new ad for Hershey’s ice cream”

lolwut? Stream of consciousness brain feeds delivered straight to the web? Most of the tweets I’ve seen aren’t even properly formed sentences. My mind is boggled – how can people be hooked onto such mindless jibber-jabber? Twitter IS mainly used by our Yankee counterparts, so that does explain it’s popularity…

The concept of micro-blogging does seem intriguing though – handy for when you can’t be bothered writing out a full article, or when you’ve got a funny video/pic to share.

*grumble grumble* #rant# <anger> RAWR! </anger>

Sigh… I need to get a Facebook for uni…

May as well start now. (Or however long I can procrastinate it.) *accepts invitation to join the dark side*

http://au.tv.yahoo.com/beauty-and-the-geek/

Having not slept for 62 hours now, I’m too lazy to even right write anything remotely descriptive, other than linking you to the website.

Really though, is there no end of reality TV shows?

Somehow, every time I see this ad, I am reminded of the show Farmer Wants a Wife when where one of the contestants turned out to be a porn model, just like Sam Brodie on Gladiator fessed up to modeling on a gay porn website.

We are looking for the following:

Intellectual “Geeks” who are socially challenged when it comes to women but think they could have a go at turning a beauty into a scholar. (If you’re a shy geek into comic books, star wars, RPGs, D&D, computers, on-line gaming, chess, or physics, etc, etc., we want you!)

Beautiful, sexy, social-savvy women who can turn a geek into a stud.

Beauties and Geeks willing to work together and compete for the opportunity to win a substantial prize!! If you meet one or more of these qualifications let us know.

*gag* *pukes from stereotyping*

And check out the legal waffle in the audition forms – they basically ask you to sign away all your rights/dignity and ask you invasive questions (which will probably be made know publicised for all to see).

[too lazy to rant and rave]

[spelling/grammar also degrading]

—

Big Brother sucks. So you think you can dance was mildly amusing though. Gretel Killeen is a scary bitch.

I’m curious – do people who subscribe via RSS read this in plaintext, or is the formatting retained? Things make much more sense whith styles/formatting visible.

…because none of these items are worthy of individual posts

1. Apparently Steve Jobs got a liver transplant two months ago for his “hormonal imbalance.” Perhaps it would be good for Apple if he retired from the company. New directions, innovations, marketing strategies? I will rant more about why I hate Apple as a company later…
2. http://blogs.news.com.au/bossy/index.php/news/comments/im_a_clean_freak_and_my_boyfriend_is_doing_something_dirty/ is mildly amusing.
3. And Swine Flu has claimed its 2nd victim, a man in Victoria. I have a theory that by not catching the bus for a year (and thus being cramped among 40 Year 7s busy expelling the contents of their nostrils over everyone), I shall extend my life span by 5 years. So the more free lifts I can mooch off people, the better off I will be… hmm…
4. The Greens are whinging again – by their logic, the raised dam levels and relaxed water restrictions means that we can stop construction on the desalination plant, dismantle it and sell the would be useless plant machinery off to China or something. Because a weeks worth of rain and a few percent rise in dam levels means we will never have a drought in Australia again. Right.
5. Lindsay Lohans starring in a new reality TV show, where people get given a second chance. Yeh, she’ll be the perfect host for that show, being able to relate and all, given that her entire existence is possible due to a small group of suckers that give her too much leeway.
6. They’re about to start fluoridating water in Geelong, Victoria, and people are outraged at the poison the government is injecting into their water supply. DoHS minister Lisa Neville has been receiving death threats, bottles left on her doorstep with the message “We’re going to kill you, Bitch” and anti-fluoridation propaganda websites are popping up everywhere. What’s the big deal? Fluoride is added to water supplies in many countries around the world, approved by the WHO, reduces teeth decay, it gets shoved in your mouth at the dentist and it’s in toothpaste. Down in Tasmania, they have a day dedicated to celebrating the anniversary of water Fluoridation, for the health improvements it’s brought to the population there.
7. WTF pictures of the week – Mona Lisa… porn? Click here and here.
8. From “Dating, It’s Complicated #5″:

My sophomore year of high school I was dating my boyfriend for a few months. One day I told him I had something to show him in my room upstairs. This was the first time my boyfriend was allowed into my room; we were alone together. He goes straight to my computer and tells me I need more RAM.
-No Longer Dating A Nerd, CT

Oh dear.

The animal huggers (is that the right term?) are all up in arms again because Barack Obama killed a fly that was pestering him during a TV interview.

Boo freaking hoo.

PETA went to all the trouble of mailing Obama a “Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher” humane fly catching trap and released a public statement – “We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals. We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals.”

Now hold on a sec – Obama just swatted a fly that was trying to eat his head while he was on TV. It’s not like he sprouted horns out of his head and started performing satanic fly sacrificial rituals or something. Which brings us to an interesting point. I should therefore be a sinner rotting in hell (according to PETA anyway), due to the thousands of ants, spiders, flies, cockroaches etc etc I’ve killed in my life. And pest control operators are all poltergeists, Woolworths profits from the sale of pesticides are donated to Lucifer corp, and Mortein is the mecca of evil.

Like*, GET OVER IT PETA!

There’s millions of your own species living in poverty every day under the rule of dictators, thousands fleeing war zones and all you care about are flies. For f*** sake, if you’re gonna fawn over animals, make it a decent cause at least (eg bile bears, caged chicken farming, whaling and so on…).

*adds 5c coin to the ‘like’ jar.

With more and more celebrities being vat grown every day from magic shrooms, it does take a fair bit of effort for a celebrity to differentiate themselves from the pack of zombies.

Either that, or become a Scientologist like Tom Cruise – voted #1 Tool by Australians in a 2009 survey. (Amy Winehouse was the #1 Toolette BTW).

Cassie (some RnB singer who no one gives a shit about) has sunk to a new low though. Nude pictures of her were leaked onto the Internet, probably by her publicist. Then in a strategic move, this was posted to her twitter account soon after:

“IT SEEMS THAT SOMEONE HAS HACKED INTO MY COMPUTER…THAT’S REAL FOUL AND EVIL. NOW STOP ACTING LIKE YOU HAVEN’T SEEN A TITTY BEFORE.”

And the day after, another close up pic of her downstairs was “leaked” onto the Internet.

And then a team of lawyers representing her subsequently cease & desisted every website displaying the photos and asked they be replaced with the supplied more “artistic” bikini shots.

Smooth going there.

Funnily enough, Atlantic Records/Bad Boy Entertainment have made a copyright claim for Cassies “titties”. Is that even contractually legal?

On another note, have some pictures of Cher in a see through bodysuit at age 62: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1180394/Cher-turns-time-slip-body-suit-wore-17-years-ago–looks-amazing.html Not exactly hot, but good looking for a granny if you’re into that kinda thing… (Stumbling on pictures of a 62 year old Cher at 3am is creepy)

Those two self obsessed wannabe minger Samanda Twins are at it again – what it is their strutting around in the spotlight like retarded gorillas for I’m not sure, but after raping the music industry with their one hit wonders, I can’t wait for one of them to break a nail. *gasp! End of the world!*

Seeing as none of these snippets really warrant their own separate post, and partially because I’m lazy, here is a conglomerate of several random issues… thing… news items or whatever…

1) Remember that little ass Alfie Patten? The backwards little midget who claims he is the father of his knocked up 15 year old girlfriend?

As it turns out after DNS testing, he’s isn’t the father but he plans to stick around with his loose “girlfriend”. For what? Perhaps he has a hidden fetish for adopting babies. Either that or he worships Madonna.

The British pollies are all up in arms as usual, going on about the declining morals of modern society, unruly kids, “back in my day…” old douchebaggery comments. It’s not like anyone in the UK gives a f*** (well they do ), but it’ll take a lot of work to change the fact that Britain is the most promiscuous Western culture.

In any case, this picture made a lot of people feel like beating him upside the head.

2) There needs to be a clause put into the UN charter of Human Rights forbidding Lady Gaga from wearing bikinis and one-pieces, especially in her music videos. I’m surprised she hasn’t already been sued by parents worldwide for psychological damage done to their kids.

3) Speaking of unflattering people, Trinny and Susannah are back at it again – http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25245028-5007192,00.html Anyone else wish these two try hards would just give up?

4) I do feel kinda sorry for Nick D’Arcy. He got kicked out of the Beijing Olympics team after his bar brawl with Cowley (who provoked him intentionally, BTW). Now after making the team for the World Swimming Championships, he was dumped by Swimming Australia as he had a criminal record because of some obscure rule in their charter.

His team mates are kinda pissed at SA for it, and the major sponsors are annoyed to say the least. While it’s nice to see the law applied equally to both citizens AND sports stars (eh, rugby and football?), 4-8 years of work has been ruined for Nick, and he’ll probably never have a swimming career at all unless he moves to the US/UK and competes for them.

Part 2 coming soon… and by that I mean within the next 24 hours.