Blag

Oh me, oh my.

A break in the blag update drought.

Actually bothered to create a new post just for this.

Microsoft has been granted IP patent # 7536726 (filed in 2005) for technology used in the crippling of operating systems.

“making selected portions and functionality of the operating system unavailable to the user or by limiting the user’s ability to add software applications or device drivers to the computer’ until an ‘agreed upon sum of money’ is paid to ‘unlock or otherwise make available the restricted functionality”

Oh, when will the fun ever stop.

Meanwhile, Sophos has developed an Anti-Virus program for members of the Klingon Empire!

I’m not even going to bother trying to comprehend what type of shrooms they were smoking when their designers created this, but it’s damn good marketing regardless – it’s made headlines all over the interwebs.

With more and more celebrities being vat grown every day from magic shrooms, it does take a fair bit of effort for a celebrity to differentiate themselves from the pack of zombies.

Either that, or become a Scientologist like Tom Cruise – voted #1 Tool by Australians in a 2009 survey. (Amy Winehouse was the #1 Toolette BTW).

Cassie (some RnB singer who no one gives a shit about) has sunk to a new low though. Nude pictures of her were leaked onto the Internet, probably by her publicist. Then in a strategic move, this was posted to her twitter account soon after:

“IT SEEMS THAT SOMEONE HAS HACKED INTO MY COMPUTER…THAT’S REAL FOUL AND EVIL. NOW STOP ACTING LIKE YOU HAVEN’T SEEN A TITTY BEFORE.”

And the day after, another close up pic of her downstairs was “leaked” onto the Internet.

And then a team of lawyers representing her subsequently cease & desisted every website displaying the photos and asked they be replaced with the supplied more “artistic” bikini shots.

Smooth going there.

Funnily enough, Atlantic Records/Bad Boy Entertainment have made a copyright claim for Cassies “titties”. Is that even contractually legal?

On another note, have some pictures of Cher in a see through bodysuit at age 62: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1180394/Cher-turns-time-slip-body-suit-wore-17-years-ago–looks-amazing.html Not exactly hot, but good looking for a granny if you’re into that kinda thing… (Stumbling on pictures of a 62 year old Cher at 3am is creepy)

Those two self obsessed wannabe minger Samanda Twins are at it again – what it is their strutting around in the spotlight like retarded gorillas for I’m not sure, but after raping the music industry with their one hit wonders, I can’t wait for one of them to break a nail. *gasp! End of the world!*

Woo! Swine Flu is coming to a person near you!

Or so the snake oil peddlers want you to think anyway. There seems to be no end of pharmacies selling “Swine Flu masks” on the cheap, or selfish idiots that stockpile anti-virals so that people who require them are unable to acquire them as they’ve been sold out. Also, I declare Jihad upon the unscrupulous GPs handing out Tamiflu prescriptions by the hundred to make some extra moolah.

Anyone for a dose of Swine Flu and MRSA preventing herbal supplements? Click here.

That looks just as effective as a dose of multivitamins twice a day, which would probably be cheaper.

Seeing as we’re in such a swine-ish mood, why not buy a few souvenir T-Shirts? Available here.

Speaking of snake oil peddlers, I never ceases to amaze people who buy “Magic Ceramic Water Filters”, guaranteed to filter out the secret chemicals added to the water supply by our governments to give citizens cancer, as a method of population control.

Same with “magic power magnetic bracelets” and shaman amulets to ward off terrorists. (Would a AK-47 not be more effective?)

I’m about to fork out $49.99 to buy a set of audio tapes developed by the Shaolin monks, which supposedly help cure common colds with the recorded auditory signals developed over countless millenia in temples and now available as a limited edition CD set with free gift if I buy now within the next 10 minutes.

Ohhh, I can’t wait…

Anyone wanna talk me out of it? I accept THX/Monster speaker cables as donations.