Blag

Do these look the same to you?

Well, that’s the only conclusion I can draw after Apple’s latest round of lawsuits in Australia.

Apparently Apple doesn’t want Woolworths to use their new fresh food logo any more, as it infringes upon the Apple trademark. So that means re-branding all their stores, staff uniforms, trucks, advertisements, product labels and so on. Apple is pissed as Woolworths filed for a blanket trademark, which could in theory allows it to use its stylised ‘w’ on electrical goods and computers, putting them in competition with each other. Given that Woolworths has already followed their US and UK counterparts in offering mobile phone plans, MP3 download credit and phones, I guess Apple might be worried.

But really – is that what Apple’s legal department comes up with, after 14 months of deliberation? “Uh, your logo is a ripoff of ours.”

*snort*

In other news, Apple is also suing Poison Apple, a music festival promoter who’s trademark is a bitten apple atop crossed bones, and Foxtel, as their new pornography channel’s “Adults Only” logo is an apple with an arrow and devil’s tail.

What else will they come up with next? Banning the Granny Smith Festival? Commission on any fresh produce store that sells apples? The local fruit market manager is quaking in fear…

…because none of these items are worthy of individual posts

1. Apparently Steve Jobs got a liver transplant two months ago for his “hormonal imbalance.” Perhaps it would be good for Apple if he retired from the company. New directions, innovations, marketing strategies? I will rant more about why I hate Apple as a company later…
2. http://blogs.news.com.au/bossy/index.php/news/comments/im_a_clean_freak_and_my_boyfriend_is_doing_something_dirty/ is mildly amusing.
3. And Swine Flu has claimed its 2nd victim, a man in Victoria. I have a theory that by not catching the bus for a year (and thus being cramped among 40 Year 7s busy expelling the contents of their nostrils over everyone), I shall extend my life span by 5 years. So the more free lifts I can mooch off people, the better off I will be… hmm…
4. The Greens are whinging again – by their logic, the raised dam levels and relaxed water restrictions means that we can stop construction on the desalination plant, dismantle it and sell the would be useless plant machinery off to China or something. Because a weeks worth of rain and a few percent rise in dam levels means we will never have a drought in Australia again. Right.
5. Lindsay Lohans starring in a new reality TV show, where people get given a second chance. Yeh, she’ll be the perfect host for that show, being able to relate and all, given that her entire existence is possible due to a small group of suckers that give her too much leeway.
6. They’re about to start fluoridating water in Geelong, Victoria, and people are outraged at the poison the government is injecting into their water supply. DoHS minister Lisa Neville has been receiving death threats, bottles left on her doorstep with the message “We’re going to kill you, Bitch” and anti-fluoridation propaganda websites are popping up everywhere. What’s the big deal? Fluoride is added to water supplies in many countries around the world, approved by the WHO, reduces teeth decay, it gets shoved in your mouth at the dentist and it’s in toothpaste. Down in Tasmania, they have a day dedicated to celebrating the anniversary of water Fluoridation, for the health improvements it’s brought to the population there.
7. WTF pictures of the week – Mona Lisa… porn? Click here and here.
8. From “Dating, It’s Complicated #5″:

My sophomore year of high school I was dating my boyfriend for a few months. One day I told him I had something to show him in my room upstairs. This was the first time my boyfriend was allowed into my room; we were alone together. He goes straight to my computer and tells me I need more RAM.
-No Longer Dating A Nerd, CT

*See the bloatware name and shame list for alternatives and description of the problems encountered

Woo! Time for another (brief) rant at my favourite company in the world – Apple Inc.

Why are Apple developers so incapable of making a lightweight, fast and clean version of iTunes ans Quicktime?

They take forever to load, two years to install or upgrade and leave behind more debris upon uninstall that a shrapnel grenade. For f***s sake, installing a bloody antivirus program has less of an effect on your computer than iTunes/Quicktime, no joking. And why does Quicktime always crash? I bounced this idea off a couple of mates who do media/arts at uni, and the general consensus there about Quicktime on any non Mac OS computer is the same – utter crapola. Unstable, laggy, restrictive.

Ironic, their “I’m and Mac, and I’m a PC” ads.

Perhaps Microsoft should insert time delay trojans into MS Office for mac? Or maybe vulnerability exploiters when it detects a Mac user visiting their website?

To Apple’s credit, they got rid of Quick Time Task a while back.

For now, the only reason to keep iTunes is if you own an iPhone/iPod. I’d use Windows Media Player, if it’s library management weren’t so awful…

*Updated iTunes just then. Why of why does it have to restart my freakin PC? I haven’t done that in 14 days and 3 hours now… Even installing Norton, yes Norton Internet Security doesn’t require a restart. Get with the times, Apple!

It’s massive! It’s as attractive as the fecal matter ejected from the rear end of an elephant! What a monstrous…

Oh wait, he’s just wearing a NV Smart Phone wristwatch.

The nicest looking two in the range?

NV touts it as the latest in mobile phone technology. Sleek, sexy, functional (insert marketting waffle here). And in 10-20 years, it shall replace the traditional large screen mobile phone. The NV Smart phones aren’t cheap – they range from $399 to $999 AUD and come with a  1 year warranty. Good thing they come with a butload of extras – USB cable, headphones, bluetooth headset, 2 batteries as the iPhone looks much more attractive. The extras still don’t compensate for the tiny screen, pathetic battery life and the fact you look like a complete tool walking around with talking to your wrist. I can see lawsuits coming up here…

So not only do we have snobs walking around talking seemingly to nobody (read bluetooth headsets), we can now talk to our wrists!

Oh yes, all these phones are sourced direct from the sweatshops of China and rebranded. But wait! There’s more!

Models include -

• Motch
• Sports Pro
• Smart Watch

which all come in various colors. NV also produce “tranditional” mobile phones with the -

• Executive – 1:1 rip off of the iPhone in gold bling coloring
• Lifestyle – Samsung anyone?
• Multimedia Phone – PDA wannabe

The only thing going for their traditional phones is the ability to use 2 SIM cards. They do include standard features though – camera, mp3, mms, expandable storage, bluetooth etc).

As for NV’s website…

The website is entirely flash, hence the semi-retarded screenshot.

Whoever designed the website is useless f***wit. It’s entirely in flash and the streaking comets in the background are annoying. What’s interesting, is that the store locator tells you that the phone actually isn’t available for sale anywhere in Australia yet – probably because most retailers are smart enough to realise only rich bitches and only the most hardcore impulse buyers would even come within a 2KM radius of their products. As far as I can tell, the phone sells purely on the bling/novelty factor.

The company profile is complete waffle, the FAQs are an amusing read, and the “investment opportunities”… well, I’m not sure about that really, as they’re not ASX listed as far as I can tell? Site map doesnt work, and their environmental policy is a pathetic attempt at jumping on the green bandwagon.

Check it out: http://nvphones.com.au/ and CNET Australia’s dubious review http://www.cnet.com.au/mobilephones/phones/0,239025953,339294659,00.htm

Ok, I lie. Grown up girl.

(In-joke follows, sane people can ignore)

Brianna says:
ouchies
Brianna says:
badbadbadbadbad
Brianna says:
then again
Brianna says:
apple could totally transform into the awesome company I claim it is, once he dies!
Brianna says:
I did not just say that
Brianna says:
I did not mean that
Brianna says:
do not blag that quote
Brianna says:
or else

Ah… Mac fanbois (fangurl?) This one does commit sacrilege though, for not worshipping his almightiness the great Steve Jobs…

What is this world coming to?

iPod skins, iPod screen protectors, iPod socks, iPod dock, spare iPod cables, iPod lanyards, iPod FM transmitters, iPod battery packs, iPod headphones. Which is fair enough, as their practical and (usually) relatively affordable.

But now the market is being saturated with the dumbest accessories ever invented. Have manufacturers nothing else to produce? Or are they trying to get in on the “i” craze, four years too late? Check it out -

• iPod desk lamps, for when a dock isn’t hip enough
• OhMiBod iPod vibrator for women… OK, fine, but has iVibe been trademarked already?
• iPod fish tanks for fish who enjoy feeling the vibrations from crappy $2 paper speakers (condemned by the RSPCA actually)
• School bags with ipod docks and built in speakers for those perfect children who treat their schoolbags like chinaware or those who feel that everyone in a 5m radius will appreciate their taste in music
• iDog’s – plastic toy dogs with bling leds and built in speakers, for the 9 year old that appreciates sweatshop goods (oh yeah, they also connect to iPod’s )
• iPod fibre optic Christmas trees, for when the good ol’ CD player just aint good enough for your collection of carols
• and the iFish (click here for more marine goodness)

I still have yet to see an iFridge. Perhaps an iFireplace would be good, so that the iPod would catch fire and teach the moron owner not to invest in such ridiculous products.

<begin rant>

Don’t get me wrong.

Firefox is my preferred browser. It’s customisable – skins, themes, dictionaries, plugins, it’s more stable that IE6 and IE7, it’s more secure and has much higher performance i.e. it loads much quicker, renders scripts faster can handle a plethora of open tabs and so on.

So when Firefox 3.0 came out, just like other Mozilla zealots around the world, I clamoured to get my hands on their latest masterpiece. And it was awesome. Switching tabs was noticeably snappier, memory usage was reduced significantly, it crashed less, the new add-ons manager was great, and the new URL bar was fantastic.

Months later…

Firefox 3.0.5 just came out.

And now I regret not being sentimental and staying with Firefox 2.0.20.

Sure, its now discontinued, but unlike Firefox 3.0.x, it doesn’t suck donkey balls and laaaag every time a page has flash content on it. It doesn’t get slower and sloower and slooower and sloooower as time goes by. And it doesn’t shit itself when you have multiple tabs and windows open. And the sideways tab scrolling isn’t cunted.  And so on, and so on.

Damn Firefox 3.0.x is annoying. Damn Firefox 3.0.x for being such an improvement in general over Firefox 2.0.xx.

:@

So what now?

Back to Micro$hit Winblows IE7 where it takes a full 13 seconds to open, and another 5 to realise that it needs to load the homepage? Or * shudder * Crapple Safari for Windows, the incumbent bloatware and swiss cheese of security? Maybe the niche user browser Opera? Perhaps any of the other hundred of other hackjob browsers, developed by their respective die-hard user base.

-.-

<end rant>