Blag

Wow. 2 months without a post.

I stumbled across this little gem a few days ago:

Australia Post TELeGRAM

The TELeGRAM combines new age demands with
old world charm to offer you a quick, convenient
way to send a message that matters.

Create your messages on-line, select from a range
of images, and we print and post a hard copy of
your special message to any delivery point within Australia*.

*Terms and conditions apply.
See terms and conditions or call 13 13 18.

When it’s special, send a TELeGRAM.

Ordered on-line, delivered by mail.

Check it out at: http://www.auspost.com.au/telegram/

So, apparently you can choose from 12 templated TELeGRAM card thingies (the usual stock images – candles, bottle of champagne, rose with 2 hands, balloons, artistic spirals, love heart shaped cloud, baby hands, lush green tress, flower, roses, sparkler and plain white.) Not even an option to upload your own image.

You type in your message, agree to some legal waffle, press send and you can send that special message to that special person from the laziness of your chair.

All for the charming price of $4.50.

On the website, one of the images reads:

“Some messages are too important for a phone call, and too special for e-mail.”

THEN GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS, PICK A CARD YOURSELF AND DELIVER IT IN PERSON.

Bleurgh. As you may or may not know, I hate social networking with a passion.

(I think I posted on this a while ago. Did I? Yes I did. I did so here!)

It eats into people’s lives, cutting them off from reality, breaking up relationships, running up huge phone and Internet bills and so on, not to mention the fact that once it’s posted, it’s out there for the world to see. Now throw in online predators, e-mail harvesting by SPAM bots, the 101 trojans and phishing scams that seem to plague Facebook and MySpace and you might begin to understand why people might be better off without it.

Actually, as a side note, I read in a user survey that there is actually a demographic rift between MySpace and Facebook users. (Damnit, lost that URL ) Apparently, all the educated White people are moving to Facebook, whereas MySpace has now become a trashy ghetto. Where that leaves the Asian, European and Middle Eastern people, I’m not quite sure. Well, I do have SOME idea – Asians have their own non-English forums and Web 2.0 SN websites, Europeans have their own ripoffs of Facebook written in gobbledygook, and the Internet is the tool of the devil used to disseminate vile pornography (according to the crackpot clerics anyway) so that leaves out most of the Middle East. And yes, I hate political correctness. And no, I will not make any attempt to censor myself, not for the sake of sheltered children nor radical far left Christians nutters either.

Side Note #2 – I hate you Fred Nile. You too, Stephen Conroy. May you rot in hell for eternity Fred Phelps.

Back on topic though. The idea of social networking DOES make sense, if you ignore the ego-flapping wars of “who has more friends on Facebook” and “I have more followers than you on Twitter”.

Speaking of Twitter – ce qui donne?

What’s the point of Twitter? According to it’s home page:

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?

Of everyone I’ve asked (about 9), no one seems to comprehend the purpose of its existence. Of all the Twitter accounts I’ve ever looked at, all but 2 were utterly boring.

“OMG woke up and it was raining”

“my dog shit the carpet againz”

“lol, gonan go eat brekky now”

“Awesome, saw a new ad for Hershey’s ice cream”

lolwut? Stream of consciousness brain feeds delivered straight to the web? Most of the tweets I’ve seen aren’t even properly formed sentences. My mind is boggled – how can people be hooked onto such mindless jibber-jabber? Twitter IS mainly used by our Yankee counterparts, so that does explain it’s popularity…

The concept of micro-blogging does seem intriguing though – handy for when you can’t be bothered writing out a full article, or when you’ve got a funny video/pic to share.

*grumble grumble* #rant# <anger> RAWR! </anger>

Sigh… I need to get a Facebook for uni…

May as well start now. (Or however long I can procrastinate it.) *accepts invitation to join the dark side*

Lo,

Well, time for another list. And this time, its for the most useless staff, customer service representative, supervisor, manager, help desk person, analyst or whatever you want to call it person.

I’ve even dedicated a page to it!

(Look on the RHS)

It will be updated whenever I am so ill fortuned to meet one of these vegetables, whether in person, on the phone, or over the interwebs.

Collection of stupid/redundant quotes from the interwebs and real life:

“That is like saying a toaster is very cheap, compared to a new Ferrari.”

“We can’t upgrade to a higher quota internet plan, as you might use the extra quota”

“My BIOS is faster than yours”

“My penis is a pizza oven”

“Hard drives need to be dropped the very first time to unstick the glue they use to stick the heads”

“I’m sorry sir, but you’ll need to upgrade your computer before you can install the youtube”

“Console controllers are more accurate for sniping then a mouse”

“The UBS doesn’t fit!”

“You can plug you PS3 into a TV – cant do that with a PC”

“If its not iTunes it sucks”

“The tubes are clogged”

“You cant edit movies on a PC”

“My computer is faster – it had a bigger HDD than yours”

“Can you use DDR2 in DDR1 mobo?” … “Can i cut it to fit”

“The lines at MSY are long”

“No one can try this fishing thing on me! I use a mac, and that’s invulnerable to viruses”

“OMG sex involves bodily contact?”

“Illegal activity is illegal activity… and child pornography is child pornography”

Shirt pockets on the girls school uniform

DVD Re-winders

High School Certificate English

Relativity (Physics)

Trying to take the mickey out of the AFP (yes, they don’t care)

War in Iraq

Wireless Batteries

Politicians

Instant Water

History Lessons

Giving someone cash for a birthday present

Banana holder

Anti-squishing banana guard

Furry toilet seats

Leadman Power Engineering Co. Ltd.

Sports cars (unless you live in the middle of nowhere or own a private racing track)