Blag

Well, Windows 7 launched today, hopefully ending the embarrassing legacy of Windows Vista.

It’s going to be covered to death by the media, so I really can’t be bothered saying anything much – not like I’ll come up with any shockingly new ideas that several million other journalists and bloggers haven’t already thought of.

Apple didn’t quite manage to steal the limelight of the show, as some people predicted – Snow Leopard was launched quite a while ago, and there’s nothing radical in the new lineup of Mac hardware. Microsoft’s launch this time is meant to be low key, with more effort put into advertising over the coming months.

*awaits end of HSC, before buying a copy of Windows 7, 8GB of RAM and a new GPU*

What can I say? Microsoft managed to turn around their Vista reputation and create a product that everyone was interested in, then they blundered and hired the most clueless ad agency in the world.

*cringes*

*ears bleed and eyes shrivel up like prunes*

Really? OK, so Windows 7 Launch Parties is a kinda lame idea, but there’s enough geeky people around to pull it off, and there will be enough media coverage when Windows 7 is officially launched on October 22nd.

Quotes from Twitter include:

“What would compel someone to have a Windows 7 Launch/House Party?…seriously!”

“Got my life size cut out of a nude Bill Gates ready. Oh, I thought you said Windows 7 Raunch Party. Sorry.”

And joy of joys, there is also a dedicated Windows 7 Launch/House party website, so you can upload snaps of you and your friends nerding out over an install of Windows 7. Hosts also get a signature copy of Windows 7, and a party kit including branded napkins, streamers, posters and balloons.

If it makes you feel better, here is an alternate version of the Launch Party video…

$20 says that the 4 actors in the video have no fucking clue what they’re selling.

I am a whore for the internets. If I had the money, I’d have interwebs pipes as extensive as Paris’s sewer system connected to my house so I could stream HD videos and torrent all day, at 40Gbps via multiple redundant upstream backbone networks. Unfortunately, bandwidth costs about ~$250 per Mbit unmetered delivered via fibre, so that’s an $12,000,000 internet bill per month. Then add on installation costs of laying fibre from the nearest access point to my doorstep, priced at ~$200 per metre in suburban areas (of which 98% of that costs is for the trenchworks and council approvals), a Cisco ONS 15454 SONET backplane to terminate the Dense Wavelength Division Multiplexed fibres, with a price heading into the 6 figure range and my plan doesn’t look quite so rosy anymore…

Regardless, the web browser is still the weapon of choice when it comes to surfing the web. Interestingly enough, picking the right web browser has been a long and gruelling process for me (no really!). I have rather peculiar web browsing habits, some of which entail -

• Bookmarking and tagging any website that is remotely interesting, or possibly useful in the future – my bookmarks.html is so large that some browsers can not import it, and scrolling to the bottom of the list takes ~ 5-6 minutes.
• Looks interesting? *click* *open in new tab* – after only about 20-30 minutes, I’ll typically have 25-30 tabs open. After a day of browsing, it’s usually around the 120-140 mark. Just wait until I start opening new windows as well…
• Constantly opening and closing browsers, so the ability to “save all” tabs and “open all tabs” is VERY important
• And as a consequence of the above reason – a high performance core that can search through 8MB of bookmarks and tags, 180 days of history and handle a 800MB cache

I mentioned long and gruelling – up until now, not a single browser available was suitable, each having their own crippling flaws and perclivites. But now, with the latest wave of browser updates/releases/betas, that’s all beginning to change. Hooray, no more:

• Blue Screens of Death (BSOD) – yup, a *certain* browser forced me to reboot my PC constantly
• Massive memory leaks that would make windows page its own kernel to disk in an effort to free up RAM
• Disk thrashing as browsers try to re-open 120 tabs from the cache
• Constant tri-daily browser crashes
• Awful laggy performance worthy of sandpapering your face

Well, I compiled a list of 301 tabs of pages packed with images, Javascript, Java applets, Flash, Shockwave, Silverlight, pop-ups and AJAX and unleashed them on all the browsers I could get my hands on. The results may surprise you…

More to come in the following posts.

(By the way, I do realise my web browser usage is NOT in anyway representative of most users, but the debilitating flaws in some browsers would still affect the average granny, logging into her ISP e-mail once a week to check for messages from the kids).

Oh me, oh my.

A break in the blag update drought.

Actually bothered to create a new post just for this.

Microsoft has been granted IP patent # 7536726 (filed in 2005) for technology used in the crippling of operating systems.

“making selected portions and functionality of the operating system unavailable to the user or by limiting the user’s ability to add software applications or device drivers to the computer’ until an ‘agreed upon sum of money’ is paid to ‘unlock or otherwise make available the restricted functionality”

Oh, when will the fun ever stop.

Meanwhile, Sophos has developed an Anti-Virus program for members of the Klingon Empire!

I’m not even going to bother trying to comprehend what type of shrooms they were smoking when their designers created this, but it’s damn good marketing regardless – it’s made headlines all over the interwebs.

<begin rant>

Don’t get me wrong.

Firefox is my preferred browser. It’s customisable – skins, themes, dictionaries, plugins, it’s more stable that IE6 and IE7, it’s more secure and has much higher performance i.e. it loads much quicker, renders scripts faster can handle a plethora of open tabs and so on.

So when Firefox 3.0 came out, just like other Mozilla zealots around the world, I clamoured to get my hands on their latest masterpiece. And it was awesome. Switching tabs was noticeably snappier, memory usage was reduced significantly, it crashed less, the new add-ons manager was great, and the new URL bar was fantastic.

Months later…

Firefox 3.0.5 just came out.

And now I regret not being sentimental and staying with Firefox 2.0.20.

Sure, its now discontinued, but unlike Firefox 3.0.x, it doesn’t suck donkey balls and laaaag every time a page has flash content on it. It doesn’t get slower and sloower and slooower and sloooower as time goes by. And it doesn’t shit itself when you have multiple tabs and windows open. And the sideways tab scrolling isn’t cunted.  And so on, and so on.

Damn Firefox 3.0.x is annoying. Damn Firefox 3.0.x for being such an improvement in general over Firefox 2.0.xx.

:@

So what now?

Back to Micro$hit Winblows IE7 where it takes a full 13 seconds to open, and another 5 to realise that it needs to load the homepage? Or * shudder * Crapple Safari for Windows, the incumbent bloatware and swiss cheese of security? Maybe the niche user browser Opera? Perhaps any of the other hundred of other hackjob browsers, developed by their respective die-hard user base.

-.-

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